Gotta be more than this provential life.

Sometimes I find myself feeling pretty defeated as a Christian since I typically seem to forget that my life has a purpose that is beyond my circumstances. It is so easy for us as Christians to get caught up in the work that we are doing at the moment, whether or not that work serves the purpose of Christ usually isn't at the forefront of our thoughts. Why is the default mode works living that focuses on what I can do and what I am doing rather than allowing ourselves to be Godly people whose purpose it is to simply be a joy to others? It's so exhausting to try to live that way, but yet so many of us fall into that mode so easily!

As I sit and reflect on this last semester while I should be working on papers, I realize I have been way to self absorbed. 2 Corinthians 5:1-5 reminds us that we have a heavenly dwelling place that is beyond human hands and beyond our working on our own; it is a place that is prepared for us by God's hands and God's love alone. Someday when we are to enter that heavenly dwelling, verse 4 says that what is mortal will be swallowed up. That image presents such a paradox of emotions within me, one of which is terrified, and the other is very excited! I see this whole opening up and all the things that are mortal just fall into it, and fall away, what a blessing! No more of the busyness and hostile of keeping up with class or work schedules and conflict with being in the world rather than of it. But when those things fall away, deep inside I have this insecurity that what will be found in that moment of exposure will be left wanting. What am I without the things that I do and have done? I am an insecure person who places way to much pressure on herself to be perfect rather than just allowing God to work within her to be who she is supposed to be for the purpose I was created for. Verse 5 of this Corinthians passage brings me so much comfort tonight. It says "Now it is God who has made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come." God has given me a deposit of the work and the dwelling that has come. God has not left me to fight this battle alone. He has left me with a counselor and guide to help me realize that it's not my weight to carry. I am not meant to pull off God's plan for my life or the life of anyone else. I was created for a purpose, and my job is to be a willing vessel to this Deposit within me. This is an image of an ambassador who is confident in the King that they live for, and confident in the message that they carry. This ambassador must realize that it's not about them, but about the King and Message that they represent.


Friends, lets be better ambassadors. I need to be one. But I don't have to do it alone. I have the spirit working in me to help me be the ambassador that I was purposed to be. What a simple message that is still infinitely complex in understanding.